I would like to say, back when I began making articles I had in my mind to make articles about everything that's bad and deserves to be spat upon. Then it passed ages and nothing too shitty came across me and I had to abandon the idea. Untill, when I tasted the worst pizza in humankind. This article contains the horror within
Ham GALZONE pizza
Hold me, I'm nervous. Eep! Not that way perv!
When earlier today, my father said to me it tastes horrible and will never eat one ever again. I thought, maybe I could use it to extinguish my primal hunger that had built up during the day. Boy, was I wrong.
The first horror I encountered was when I was warming it in a micro wave, following the instructions carefully. Leaving the micro on, I went to mind my own bussiness. Suddenly my Dad says to me that I can't hold it in micro too long or it will transform into bubly piece of ham and bits, that taste like dead animal corpses. (How he knows how animal corpses taste like, is better left as a forever mystery) I ran and stopped the micro in a second, checking if it was warm enough. Yes it was, so the test (Read; my suffering) could begin.
After taking the first bite, I noticed it was about 80% covered with an invisible flour or used a flour taste in it for some reason. Anyway, then I got some of its meat and tomato sauce in my mouth. Eating donkeys balls with mayonese would taste better (not that I would know, mind you) than the crap I had just bitted. I tried to swallow. I nearly gagged in the first piece, which was smaller than my finger nail. Oh, boy what a pleasant start for my mission of eating the whole pizza.
So I decided, the inner is shit and maybe the corners and the sides would be better? Bitting it all around I came to two conclusions.
1) The makers of the pizza love the taste of flour
2) They don't bake the pizza at all and just put it in the packages as raw.
So what are the ingredients in this kind of a "meal"? I looked behind the case and boy, was I in for a suprise.
Wheatflour, water, tomatosauce, black pepper, basilika, oregano, garlic, mustard semen, pigs' meat proccess (14,8%), cheese, rotting stopping ingredient (E325), salt (1,2%), onion, sugar, vegetable oil, sauce protein, manipulated ingredients (E450, E451), storing ingredient (E250). DOESN'T CONTAIN FOREIGN FLESH!
The last sentence really made me feel lots of better. Morons.
So I'm returning to eat it again, only to realize the sauce is probably the shittiest tasting thing which has ever been called sauce. Well, the taste isn't that bad, if you drink gallons of water and eat bread at the same time, but who the hell would do that while they eat a pizza?
Finally the taste was too much and I threw everything in trashcan. And so my futile attempts to eat the pizza ended in tragedy. How sad.
If you see this food in market, do world a favor and light it on fire with gasoline. Now excuse me, I need to go drink water and eat bread.
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